The first paragraph of Fritz op ed can be revised to make the article have more snap and sizzle. For example she could say, Imagine instead of having six weeks during a time when most people are not back from college yet, you could get out of school at a time when most other people come back also making it easier to get summer internships or jobs. Although some students use the break better than others a lot of people would easily give it up for a second week of spring break or an early start to the summer. But, it is not easy to make this dream a reality. Even if our winter break may be too long for now we shouldn’t look at a change in the calendar coming soon.
In the op ed there are also places where she can shorten a paragraph making a good one sentence transition between paragraphs. In between paragraphs 4 and 5 a one sentence transition could be added. This could be, A longer winter break is just not what students need anymore. In between paragraphs 7 and 8 you can also add a one sentence line. This could be, Why would the school do something that doesn’t help save them money.
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